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A215, Creative Writing, feminism, new writing, novel, novel writing, of figs and bougainvillea, Open University, stay at home mothers, writer's identity, writing
What is the feature that identifies someone as a writer? Does keeping a journal each day mean you are a writer? Does writing a novel but not having it published make you a writer? In the wider community, are you judged as a writer once you are holding a book in your hands with your name across the spine?
As a mother who chose to halt her career as a business analyst in order to raise her three children, I am often asked ‘what do you do?’ When I answer that I am a stay-at-home Mother, I get ‘what job will you be going into once you’ve finished maternity leave?’ Erm. None. I’m a stay-at-home Mother. Then my favourite line of all … ‘I couldn’t not work, I wouldn’t want to be identified as just a mother.’
I want to say to these people, ‘I’m a writer, I’m writing a novel, I’ve written and completed a novel, I write poetry’, but, on the odd occasion that I have said this, the response is ‘have you been published … no? … oh’, and then the subject is changed to the weather. Or something equally banal. Also, being a full time Mother is a wonderful identity to have!
I chose to end my busy globe-trotting career so that I could stay at home to raise my children. I am proud that I did that, and, no, it wasn’t the easier option: being a mother is hard work. I am also a writer. I practice my art daily. Yet to be identified as a writer, people want to hold my book in their hands. I wrote my first novel nine years ago. It was a plot-driven YA story that lacked strength of character, yet it taught me an awful lot. Since then I have started (and abandoned) many novels, written poetry, kept journals, completed the A215 creative writing course with the Open University and have recently been writing short stories alongside writing my novel ‘Of Figs and Bougainvillea’.
In the online world, this is my identity. Here I can communicate with fellow writers, both published and unpublished. It seems that online whether you have been published or not doesn’t matter. What matters is the art itself and support is given from all kinds of writers, from those just starting out, to those with years of experience behind them. There is no snobbery, no ‘holier than thou’ attitude: those who have been published are still in the same position of writing their next book. I am fortunate to have a few ‘real life’ friends who are also writers and I’m sure that those feel the lack of identity amongst their peers sometimes too.
So over to you… do you identify yourself as a writer? Do your friends and family identify you as a writer, or do you feel that the online world is the only place you can be your true self? Please leave your comments below.
I identify myself as a writer. Definitely. I wouldn’t know what else to call myself. Writing is a part of me and although I’ve never truly published something I have written a lot. Writer is such a relative term but I know I consider myself one. Interesting thoughts, nice post.
It’s fantastic that you are certain of your identity, and that you don’t need publication to determine it. I agree, writing is definitely a part of someone and like any artist, something that we often do without thought of a ‘bigger picture’. Thanks for your comment.
I identify myself as a writer. I’ve been writing since I was a child but that’s not why I call myself one, I call myself one because it’s what I do. I write. When I was little I wrote on fictionpress.com and fanfiction.com, just to try it, it was a good outlet and I got a few good reviews. I’ve only published some poems and articles (and that was only in a local magazine and newspaper). I just… am one. I want to be a writer, I want to move people with my words, create images in their minds, emotions in their souls, characters they can relate to. It’s my passion.
Good post, though, it’s thought-provoking.
It’s wonderful that you ‘want to move people’ with your words, and ‘create images in their minds, emotions in their souls, characters they can relate to’. It’s a good reminder to writers to identify who their audience is. Too often, we get so far into our writing, that we get stuck in the main character’s world and forget that there is an audience out there waiting to come into that world with us. Thank you for taking the time to comment!
HI Sophie, I linked over here from the Campaign, and I really enjoyed this post. I absolutely identify myself as a writer and an artist, and although it doesn’t pay the bills, people who are in my life associate me with my creative work. As for the online community, I have become so grateful to have access not only to an audience, but to the genuine sense of support. I was actually surprised initially by that support, because I have found that, offline, writers are a bit more competitive with each other.
Hello Katie. If only writing paid the bills – it would vindicate all those hours spent in front of a screen! Yes, I agree, the online community are wonderfully supportive and the encouragement and advice writers are willing to give is priceless. To have ‘real’ people in your life who associate you with your creative work is fantastic, there are too many writers out there locked away writing furiously while their families know nothing of it! Many thanks for commenting and see you on the campaign!
I can’t exactly say that I identify myself as a writer, rather an artist because I don’t solely stick to writing. My family identifies me as a writer relatively frequently, depending upon how much I’ve been writing lately. I must admit though, on the web, I am more myself because I post most of my poetry and no questions are typically asked. It seems to be that people on the Internet generally just crave the writing, rather than the story behind it, or the inspiration for a specific piece. I’m not entirely certain why that is though.
Ah, a fellow poet… hello! As a writer, I find it relaxing to be able to read people’s poetry online without having to give critique or analyse their inspiration. Perhaps it’s ‘downtime’ where we can rest our inner critic and enjoy the words as they are written. Reading others work can be inspiring don’t you think? Many thanks for your comment!
“What matters is the art itself”
You said it. A writer writes. I am a writer, have one completed book and another two in the works. I hope to become a published author in the near future but that won’t change the fact that I am now and will always be a writer.
Cheers!
Thanks for your comment Corinne. Yes, I think once a writer, always a writer. It would be pretty hard to switch off that creativity and not have something in your mind implode! Good luck with your novels, you CAN do it!
That was a moving post. For my money, being a stay-at-home Mother is an important job, and the fact that our society no longer values it as such is partly responsible for many of the things that are wrong with our society. Good for you. You rock, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
I completely agree with the “writers write” line of thinking. If you regularly write, you are a writer.
I do tend to associate the word “author” with having been published. I know that’s an artificial distinction, but that’s just how I think about it. I’m already a non-fiction author because I’ve published many articles and co-authored three published books. I consider myself a fiction *writer* because I haven’t yet published my work. When I do, I’ll be a fiction author. That will happen next year [he said confidently.]
Thank you for your kind comments Daniel, I find it bizarre that staying at home to raise your children is so under-valued these days! It’s an interesting, yet important distinction you make: most non-writers will consider someone a writer once they have had something published, yet it is at that point that the writer has moved on to being an author. I will use this analogy the next time someone gives me that quizzical look! And yes, Daniel, of course it will happen next year!
I love this post. I identify myself as a stay at home mum of two and a YA writer. I hate the stigma that has somehow merged with mothers who decide to stay at home. I recently had the wife of one of the French Man’s cousin (a French woman) ask me if I would be looking for a job once we came back home to the US. I was perplexed by this and I told her; I have a job. A rather good and unpaid job, but I’m a mum.
I never used to say that I was a writer, until my eleven year old son, started to identify me as one. For career day he would always say My mum is a writer. I’m glad he does, because it makes me believe more and more in what I do.
Hi Marilyn. Glad to meet another SAH mum! It’s lovely that your son identifies you as a writer, particularly on career day. It can be difficult justifying ourselves to others when they want to know when we are going to get a ‘real’ job, but at least we know in our hearts that what we do at home is two real jobs – raising our children and writing! Thank you for your comment.
I can say I struggled with this for years as well. Ok, not the stay-at-home mother part, but definitely the “I am a writer” bit. I would occasionally say, “I’m a writer who’s working as an editor until I become rich and famous.” But, I would get the same types of responses. Are you published? Well, I recently self-published my first novel, so I can at least say “Yes, I am published,” and “Yes, you can buy a copy of my book, etc.” which is nice. But, there’s still a part of me that longs to have the ability to say, “I’m a writer. It’s what I do. It’s ALL I do. You can find my books on the bestseller shelf at your local bookstore.” And, unfortunately, for many people, especially for those not familiar with publishing or even arts in general, that’s the only way they will ever acknowledge my ability. Strange, but when someone says, “I’m a doctor,” most people don’t follow up with, “Can you show me a patient you’ve cured?” When you’re an artist, you have to have proof.
Hello Andy. I like your reference to being a doctor – very true! That is the beauty of being able to self-publish and with the rising phenomena of self-published e-books, this may well become the more popular choice for many writers in the immediate future, not only to get published, but to cement their identity as a writer. Yes, to have that freedom to say ‘I’m a writer, it’s all I do’ would be a dream! Many thanks for commenting on this post.
I’m trying on the label of writer, to see if it fits. I’ve decided that if, when I say it, I find myself nodding in my (figuratively), then I’m not claiming what I have done; I am stating who I am.
I did something similar years ago with photography. Now, since I’ve claimed that, people, when they see me with my camera, approach me, and ask to be photographed. See, I’ve claimed it, so I exude confidence. We unpublished writers are afraid to claim that title. For years, it was owned by Big Publishing, like some kind of knighthood.
But we are knights who have taken the castle. The title is ours for the taking. Claim yours, sit proudly astride your steed, kids in tow, and never look back. You are a writer, because you must write.
That is all a writer is.
Hi Bill, thanks for posting your comment. Yes, perhaps confidence is at the heart of this – I wonder how far self-doubt holds us back from asserting ourselves as writers before we are published. I am getting more used to this, to explaining that none of my writing is a waste of time, it is a matter of practicing my craft. Perhaps its a matter of claiming that identity and standing proud as you say, after all, my identity is not defined by others! Oh, and can you take my picture (joke!)
I can totally identify with you! I stayed at home looking after my children for many years, dabbled in various ‘party-plan’ type ‘jobs – so that I could stay at home with them, and eventually decided to work as a nanny so that I could – initially bring my children to work with me. Now that my children are older (18 and 11) I work as a full time nanny and have found that I absolutely love it! (But get a similar reaction to your saying you are a ‘stay-at-home mother’.
I also am a writer, especially since I studied A215 and A363 Creative Writing with the Open University!
Being a mother is one of the most important ‘job’s there is – and you are a writer if you write – whether published or not!
Thank you for your comment Joanna! Your choice of working as a nanny is a great idea and one which combines your children with your job. So you have your diploma then! I didn’t do A363 as I was due to start an MA in Writing this year, but then couldn’t due to having another baby. I know a bit about the A363 though as my friend did it this last year and thoroughly enjoyed it. Glad you have stuck to your guns and are still writing – see you over at the campaign!
I see myself as a writer, I know how much work I’ve been putting in to try and become a published author, my fellow writer friends in the blogosphere definitely identify with me…but sadly that’s about it. While the husband and family are supportive enough, hubby will often barge in on a frenzied writing session to ask where his clean socks are, and wonder why he gets his head bitten off!
And a prime example that people of the non-writerly kind truly do not understand: when I tell my boss at work that I can’t do overtime because I need to finish my ms, his response is always: “You can finish it this weekend!” As if I can knock out a polished novel overnight! *growls*
At least I’ll always have the understanding from you guys!
Hi JC! I’m in a similar situation to you, besides a couple of fantastic ‘real life’ writer friends, my identity as a writer is mainly through the blogosphere. My husband is not a creative type at all so doesn’t appreciate the time I need to write, but, like many people, is wondering when I’m going to be the next JK Rowling and earn megabucks (err, like never!) Plus, we don’t read the same types of novels so I can’t talk to him about what I’m writing as when I do, it’s not long before his eyes glaze over and I know damn well he is thinking about how to get past the next level on Call of Duty – ha ha! In fact he asked me just now what I’m doing: I told him and he just rolled his eyes.
Well, Sophie, now I’m doubly impressed. It’s hard enough to gain the confidence to claim the title of Writer, without having to also overcome resistance from a spouse. It takes a strong person not to feel like you have to hide what you are doing or let his doubts about the value of your work creep into your own mind.
I feel extremely fortunate that my wife has been supportive of my fiction writing. It helps that she is a writer herself, and although she doesn’t typically read in my genre, she claims to enjoy my work. It is also true that she has an ulterior motive: I used to be a gamer, and the “time wasted playing stupid games” really annoyed her. When I offered to exercise my imagination by writing fiction in trade for my gaming time, she was all over it!
Some things we just have to do for ourselves, regardless of what those around us might think. Your desire to write and the satisfaction you get from doing it probably can’t be replaced by any other activity. “The right to write” is what you need to claim for yourself and defend with all of your creative passion. Hmmm. I feel a blog post coming on!
What a wonderfully supportive couple you and your wife must be. To be married to a like-minded writer must be wonderful, though I can uinderstand her sentiments of encouraging your work to distract you from gaming (ha ha!). “Right to Write!!!” Yes – write the blog post – I’ll be the first to visit!
Sophie, Thanks for sharing this. I’m a stay-at-home mom too. I write and interact with writers when I can. When people ask what I do, I tell them I’m CEO of Enzo Corp. (that’s my son’s name). Some laugh and some look at me a little odd. Enzo Corp. seems to be thriving – even in this bad economy, so I think I’m doing OK.
Fantastic! I am a CEO too, at least that is what I’m going to tell people from now on. And yes, my Corp. of three is thriving too. Thanks for commenting.
can’t identify with the mother bit as I’m not but I say I am a writer – the only thing wrong is that people dont really consider a ‘job’ – I have published three books now (self published) but if I say I can’t come out to play because of deadlines they don’t understand – it’s just ‘writing’ whats so important? – most times it’s more important to me than ‘playing!’
I am a writer
Hi Alberta. I agree: writing is far more fun than playing! Congratulations on the three books – will go check them out now!
Yes, I do identify myself as a writer … and am pretty comfortable with that now. some friends and family members do as well — though it’s fairly clear that they don’t view it as a “real” job. BTW, I’ve passed my “Liebster Award” on to you because this post and the photographic image resonated!
Ooh, thank you for the Liebster Award – i shall go to your site now and see what it’s all about! Thank you for posting.
Cheers and Applause Sophie *You go girl*!
I am a SAHM and a Writer. To be honest, I do not let society define me, I define my own life. I am the happiest I have ever been and find fulfillment in what I do, and that’s what really matters. If society has a problem with that…then that is lingering issues and reflections pertaining to them and *NOT* a definition or reflection of me.
I have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. See my blog for details and Congratulations! Outstanding post!
It’s great to have so many positive comments regarding this post and particularly nice to hear from other SAHM writers. Am heading over to your site now – thanks for the nomination, you are very kind
I don’t know if I would call myself a ‘writer’ as I guess (just like you ask) I am not published so how can I call myself a writer? I read elsewhere that if you are ‘writing’, whether you are published or not, then you are a writer. And if I am honest about it all, I guess there is a sort of ‘complex’ issue going on as ‘writing’ has to be perfect, correct etc If it’s not,then again, how dare you call yourself a writer!! Many thanks for this, as it has given me food for thought.
Yes, I agree about the complexity of it all. I mean, does keeping a journal every day make you a writer? Hmm, I don’t know (although all that journal writing has certainly given me a cache of ideas to draw from!) Perhaps that’s why writing courses are so popular now: they affirm a ‘writerly’ status. Thanks for commenting!